I’ve lost track of the number of times I’ve saved my husband this weekend.
It’s only Saturday, and it’s not even bedtime for the boy. Oh yeah, and I worked an overnight shift so I was actually gone until 8:15 this morning. I’m not really even supposed to be here….Just sort of hanging around not interacting.
When I discovered the kitchen floor was sticky this morning, that was one. I did what I always do, I got out the mop and cleaned it up. Then I got thinking, “Why is the floor SO sticky?” I looked in the fridge to find a 3/4 full bottle of tonic water. Ah Ha. My husband had opened the tonic too fast (like he usually does) only this time it spilled all over the floor and he didn’t clean up the mess.
As I was painting my nails in the 3 season room, trying to be inconspicuous my son came over and asked me if I had any henna. Nope, all out. So…..could he draw all over his arms with brown marker to make it look like henna? That’s a question for Daddy, I said. Daddy said sure, but you’ll take a bath tonight. As my son reached for the markers I piped up and said, “I’m sure Daddy meant to say WASHABLE marker.”
After I was done with my really awesome nail painting job I heard a familiar noise. “OW! Help!” followed by my husband running up the stairs to the bathroom with our son close behind and him, husband yelling commands in nonsensical hysterics, “Get some gauze! 7-up! Oh GOD! I’m sweating!” I could not sit by. My husband had, yet again injured himself during one of his hobbies and as is the case with Every Single Male along His line – at the thought of blood, or injury, will pass out. Our son hasn’t totally passed out yet at blood but has gotten very white. Regardless, a 7 year old should not be in charge of fixing this. I found husband upstairs, head between his knees, still shouting nonsensicals, and I slowly evaluated the situation. He sliced the skin over the middle joint of his finger clean down. We moved to his bed. It would hold together nicely with a butterfly strip and really wasn’t bleeding that much – especially compared to the table saw incident. I fixed his finger up with the skill that can only come with years of being married to this man, or maybe 10 years of medical college, and with only minimal damage to my still wet fingernails, all while he laid on the bed shouting that he was going to pass out.
Dude. Chill. You’re lying down – go ahead and pass out for Pete’s Sake.
All the little things I’ve cleaned up today, the telling the boy not to put plastic in the microwave, even playing with the boy for quite a bit giving the husband a break….it adds up – or subtracts, really, from his experience as a full time dad, which is really what I was going for in this whole arrangement.
I started on a gin and tonic at 4. had a second at 6. now I’m having a beer.
Tomorrow I’ll be going to a belly dancing workshop followed by copious amounts of drinks with a friend followed by a Hafla (belly dancing show). Did I forget to tell you that I also belly dance? I do. Sometimes. So did my Mom – quite successfully for a while. I’m more complicated than you know…so complicated even I forget things…
This, friends, is me. (YES!!!! A picture of me!!!!! Ohh. Emm. Gee.) It’s from a few years ago when my son was 1 1/2 and my hair was still short:
Anyway, my point is – I plan to make myself gone most of tomorrow, otherwise I can’t stay out of it. We’ll see what I return to.