my shell

I am pretty hot.

I know I haven’t posted any pictures of myself on here, so you’re just going to have to take my word for it.  Men want me.  Everywhere I go.  I feel their stare,  deal with their come ons…it’s always been that way.  Yeah, I like it sometimes.  Sometimes it’s annoying.

Here’s the thing I’m just now realizing.  (Wait, you’re 30 something and you’re just now realizing this?? – Yes.  Sad, I know.  but I am.)  All. these. men.  ALL those guys from middle school to now who give me the “up down”, say slightly inappropriate things, stare as I walk away or say, “No, you go first, please” (I know it’s just so you can check out my ass)  give me attention….they aren’t wanting ME.  Not really me.  The outside is a shell and what is on the inside is way too complicated for you to spend 10 minutes with me and think you know me.

You like my shell.

My mom tried – she told me that you have to spend a year with someone to truly know who they are.  See them through the seasons, see how they handle holidays, tough times….  I think you need 3 years.

As my daughter enters this hormone filled phase and I see her vying for random guy’s attention I hope I can instill this message in her:  That attention is directed at her shell and she will only end up feeling hollow inside if that relationship is pursued.  Somewhere out there is a person who is going to love that she loves bugs and brings them in the house.  That she is messy, that she loves to read….all that stuff.  It’s not going to be easy to find.  I hope she fares better then I did at sifting through all of that nonsense, letting go of the ones that just like you for your pretty shell and not investing your soul until you find that person who wants to see into the shell and not run away screaming but toward you even closer.

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3 thoughts on “my shell

  1. It will be hard teaching your daughter about it, but she will learn and develop a sense of what she wants in a guy and how he should treat her and will pick up on what guys want from her, either her shell or if they are truly interested in her personality. I’ve been there and am now determined on what I want and can tell the difference between the guys who like my personality and the others who just like my body

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