My glass is empty. 

No, that’s not a metaphor. I’ve run out of 7&7…. At least until I get up and get another.

I watched my husband, large, probably 12 oz water glass, pour, pour, pour….the Seagrams. No room for the 7up in that glass. It’s supposed to be a 3:1 ratio you jerk I thought. Maybe 2:1 if it’s your second glass and you just don’t care, but seriously, a whole glass of Seagrams? This is why I cancelled work tonight.  He is an unstable man when he thinks our relationship is over and from what I can tell, it is.

Laughter tumbles down the stairs from the guest room where my son and most likely intoxicated husband are watching something on the computer. I’m jealous. 

I know that right now things are okay for him because he is staying away from me like there’s a no contact order in place, but it’s not going to last. We’ve tried this before. Two people can’t avoid each other in the same house when there are shared children not to mention a shared bathroom.

His voice has gotten steadily louder over the last 30 minutes. I can tell he’s trying to drown out his pain with constant talking, laughter, noise, liquor…

I wonder how my daughter is doing. She is with her own father this weekend. I moved 1,000 miles away from him (not on purpose, but the benefits of distance in an abusive relationship were there) and then he moved out here. Hell bent on creating a relationship with his daughter now that she’s almost grown.  I worry about her there. 

My son, at least tonight, is within earshot. He is sensitive and trusting and could be broken so easily by someone he trusts who turns out to be someone quite different.  

I’ll pour myself another drink. I’ll stick to 3:1 tonight. Who knows what the night will bring….


2 thoughts on “3:1

  1. That sounds all really rather unpleasant. I hope you can either sort things out or establish an exit strategy. Things like thus have a habit of going bang so I hope you at least have a basic back up plan. I’m sorry for what you’re going through.


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